My Testimony

I thought the best way to begin this blog — as with anything in life — is with my testimony.

Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to share my story at a women’s conference. It was the first time I had ever spoken in front of an audience like that, and honestly, it was both terrifying and wonderful all at once. I was the most nervous I had ever been in my life, and I had to fully lean on Him for the strength.

Before you watch my testimony video below, I want to briefly share what you’ll hear about in my testimony, and how God’s redemptive hand has been present through every season of my life:

1. The Grief of Losing My Parents

Both of my parents have now passed away. For a long time, I felt like God had taken my family from me. But over time, He showed me something beautiful — that I have a spiritual family in the body of Christ. He reminded me that He makes all things new, and that I am never truly alone.

2. My Years of Searching in the Wrong Places

In my younger years, I got caught up with the wrong crowd — drugs, partying, and chasing love and validation through men. I believed my worth was tied to my sexuality and how men viewed me. That path also led me into spiritual and New Age practices. I was very depressed, tried to commit suicide, and felt very alone.

But then, God met me — literally. One day, in a bathroom in Washington, after praying specifically to the God of the Bible, His Holy Spirit made His presence known to me. I knew in that moment that He was real. I didn’t yet understand the Gospel or who Jesus truly was, but I knew I had encountered the living God.

From that point, He freed me from my life of drugs and destructive choices. My life began to get back on track. I was 20 years old when this happened and I ended up marrying my son’s father and began a new chapter.

3. The Pain of Backsliding

Even after experiencing God’s presence, I didn’t fully understand spiritual warfare — and I slowly drifted. I slipped back into drinking, clubbing, and seeking my worth from the attention of men. Eventually, that led to committing adultery. I tried to justify my actions because of how my husband had treated me, but deep down, I knew it was wrong. This led to a divorce, and me ultimately remarrying another man.

During that season, I felt like God was distant. But in His mercy, He came to me again — convicting me of my sin and calling me to repentance. Through that painful experience, He taught me that every one of us is accountable for our own actions, and that sin always separates us from Him. We are to admit our wrongdoings, and turn back to God and then He is faithful to forgive us.

4. Falling into False Teaching

In time, I found myself tangled in false teachings and worldly ideas — because I wasn’t grounded in Scripture. I wasn’t reading or studying my Bible, and it left me vulnerable to deception. It was in this deception that I ended up having a really scary experience of what was described to me as religious psychosis. This led to me to almost committing suicide again. Luckily, God kept me safe and I was clear minded for a minute, and I reached out for help. I have seen so many testimonies of people who have had religious psychosis, and then fallen away from the faith. This didn’t happen with me. It made me stronger.

And once again, God redeemed the story. He led me to a small-town Calvary Chapel where His Word is taught faithfully, verse by verse, line by line. There, I found real fellowship and people who cared enough to disciple me — something I had never truly experienced before. Through these teachings, I have found the truth of Christ, and what He’s done for all of humanity. I still struggle with depression— a battle he hasn’t fully taken away yet. I still struggle with wanting to be loved and understood by others, I struggle with not feeling good enough... but God has taught me that it’s not about me. It’s about Him. He sits with me through the pain and struggles, and He doesn’t always deliver us from them, and there’s purpose behind that— even if it’s hard to understand.

5. God’s Redeeming Power in My Marriage and Ministry

God’s redemption didn’t stop with me. He also saved my 2nd husband and transformed his life. Today, I serve on the admin team at our small-town church — my husband has been teaching in the Children’s ministry, and every day, I’m amazed at how He continues to use me.

The only reason I can think of is that I do try to keep a heart that is available to Him and loves Him… I had someone tell me that He uses those who are available. Maybe He just blesses a heart like that.

I am constantly blown away by His goodness, His mercy, and His ability to bring beauty from ashes.

Note about the below video: The video I’m sharing below with you is one I created a while back for a YouTube channel I used to have. On that channel, I was reading the Bible out loud, with the goal of reading the entire thing in one year. I made it about seven months before it came to a halt! Call it spiritual warfare, or maybe just the busyness of life — either way, I wasn’t able to keep it up.

I often have these ideas about ways I can share God’s Word online, but sometimes those ideas don’t make it very far. Either I don’t start, or I start and can’t keep going. That’s one area of my life God is still working on — teaching me faithfulness in the little things. Who knows, maybe He will help me with that with my current endeavor — JacciBlooms.